What to do when waiting is freaking you out.
Here’s what to do when things (answers, the job search, a relocation, test results, financial security) are taking longer to appear than you’d like. Why is it that the waiting period is often the hardest part? We would almost prefer bad news over the ‘not knowing.’ Short answer — our brains are excellent pattern identifying machines. Apple, orange, apple, orange, _____
So, when the pattern or timeline isn’t clear or is unexpected, there’s a little alert that goes off. Just a tiny alarm bell that sounds like “WTF is happening?!” “Everyone panic right now!” “I’m not going to survive this.”
That stress impulse isn’t a bad thing. Your hard wired biology + the parts of you that are tasked with your safety are simply activated.
Staying in loops of heightened stress, panic or anxiety rarely creates results we’re satisfied with. Stress isn’t bad. In fact, it can be the motivation we need sometimes. Chronic stress is bad. It’s a loop that doesn’t end. And that’s where our bodies enter the red zone of burn out, overwhelm or exhaustion.
Likely, you’ve experienced this at some point or on some level. You know what it feels like to be suspended — yet also hurtling through the air — not knowing if there’s a net below or what you’ll do next. Maybe that’s where you are right now If that’s the case, I’m sorry to welcome you to the liminal space.
The 2 very best things you (we) can do are:
Fill in that pattern gap by giving your brain something to focus on.
Do something creative.
Give your brain something to focus on.
Pick 1 thing that nurtures you and do that. Preferably, make it something that is free and doesn't rely on anyone else. My favorite heavy hitters are: meditation, movement and mindset work. Looking for a longer list of ideas? Check out my free Personal Pillar download here.
Meditation is CLUTCH when it comes to allowing thoughts to come and go. It grounds me. It reminds me that the whack thought that just entered my brain is simply a thought + it’s NOT WHO I AM + I can consciously let it drift on by. There are free meditations everywhere - Spotify, youtube, free trials on meditation apps, some health insurances are even offering subscriptions. Google it and find a short one (2-10 minutes) that works for you.
Movement is simply moving your body. Walk, dance, stretch, pick apples, offer to walk a neighbor's dog, you get the idea here.
Mindset work channels your cognitive energy that results in better outcomes. I have a system for this that I teach and I love introducing it every time because it’s life changing. I feel like I’m giving people a magic potion every damn time. I can always tell the clients that actually use the framework because their skin is brighter, their eyes see opportunities that weren’t there before, they become more joyful, their relationships change - and things shift dramatically for them.
Borrow one of these or find your own thing. Pick one and do it consistently. I see you over achievers already thinking you can do it all, but for sustainability’s sake, focus your attention on one and see what happens for you.
Do Something Creative.
Turns out, this is the antidote to anxiety. I can already hear the objections — But I’m not creative? I didn’t go to art school! Don’t overcomplicate it. Even if you’re not an artist artist, you can cook a meal, meet a need in your neighborhood, arrange flowers for a friend, paint a reclaimed bookshelf, write a letter or journal. Make it tangible and do it with your hands (not just in your brain). Doesn’t count if you’re just imagining how you’d like to redecorate the cat’s outdoor sanctuary. For this step, we want to bring it into the 3D. You gotta actually have something to show for it. Even if it’s a smiley face on a post-it note.
And no, doing something creative and focusing your brain power won’t magically make the waiting period vanish. But it will manage your energy. It will channel your highest frequency. It will lower the anxiety dial. It WILL build your self trust. You’ll get to say, I had my own back by going on that walk. I just created evidence that I am not my intrusive thoughts or my inner critic. I’m someone who’s able to own, manage and channel my energy into good. Even in the waiting.
